Don't Let Me Go
by Lynne102
Summary: Jalex. Keeping a secret is hard especially since I'm keeping two secrets. One is I'm in love with my brother. The other one is.. my parents are gone. Justin tries to protect his sister from something horrible that happened.. And she can never tell a soul.
1. Prolouge

**_Don't let me go_**

Romance.

A Jalex story.

Summary: Keeping a secret is hard; especially since I'm keeping two secrets. One is, I'm in love with my brother. The other one is... my parents are gone. Justin tries to protect his sister from something that happened.. something that she can never tell a soul. Why can't anybody find their parents? What happened to Alex that has changed her so drastically?

--

**Prologue**

The heat surrounds me, swarming around my head and body as I sit inside of the bathtub. Tears are streaming down my face, making my vision blurry. The piping hot water slightly stings my skin and I can somewhat see out of the corner of my eyes, blood slowly surrounding me, coming up in watery puddles.

The sound of the running water enfolds me in its noise.

I pull my legs closer to me, pressing them against my burning chest. I wrap my arms around them, trying to protect myself from the horrible world around me.

"Alex, are you in here?" I hear a familiar voice ask me through the closed door.

I turn my head slightly toward the door and my eyes bore into the door. I can hear the sound of my movements, making the water move with my movements.

"Alex…" He whispers closely to the door.

I feel myself rise out of the bathtub, water sliding down my body. I step one foot out of the tub and another. Water is dripping down on the ground and I move forward, making puddles where I stood only moments before.

Without commanding my body to, I unlock the door and gently grasp the knob, making my fingers turn deathly white. I slowly open the door, making goosebumps arise on my skin as cold air slaps me all over my body.

"Alex, let me in." Justin says as I showcase my body to him, but his eyes are only on my own, never leaving them. I move aside, right before I tell me body to, and he steps in.

Tenderly, he takes hold of my hand on the knob and pries it off and cradles my hand in his own, his thumb gently caressing the stinging palm. I see him gently nudge the door shut with his elbow. It closes with a soft click.

"It wasn't your fault." He whispers, coming close so I can smell his familiar vanilla like scent. One hand holds onto my hand as the other lays on my arm. Warmth spreads throughout me from his fingers on my cold shoulder.

I lean forward and lay my head against his covered chest. His arms wrap around my forever cold body and his warmth spreads inside of my body, almost making me feel fully warm.

"You can't blame yourself. It _wasn't_ you." Justin says gently, his voice surrounding my ears.

"But-" My soft voice says.

"No!" He abruptly snaps and I feel myself stiffen in his grasp. But almost instantaneously, I relax again. His arms tighten around my body, as though to indicate he will never let go.

"It wasn't and never will be," He says strongly, his voice vibrating by my ear.

"I love you." He mutters gently, pulling me closer to him until there is no possible way there is a space between us.

Even though I can barely register his words in my head, I feel my heavy heart lift and flutter with happiness at those three words. I can feel my lips pull up into a very small smile.

"As a brother." He says gently and suddenly I feel tears prick my eyes. I know he only loves me as a brother but I want it to mean so much more. So much to mean in a lovers sense.

"Do you need help?" He suddenly asks but I can't respond. My body feels lifeless against his and I close my eyes hoping to get the sense of life again.

But my body pulls out of his grasp and I feel myself walk toward the bathtub. I get back in and get into the same position I was in only minutes before.

Justin walks over to me and kneels down. He leans over and places a kiss on my forehead, lingering for a moment longer than he should.

"When you're done, come to my room. I'll fix up those cuts for you. Then they'll be here. Don't worry." He says gently and his gorgeous brown eyes stare into my own and I almost feel like I'm under a trance.

But he moves away and sends a half smile my way, before he turns and leaves the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

I stare at the door for a long time, tears suddenly erupting again down my dirty cheeks. I look down at the water and see it a tinted red color. I dip my index finger into it and lift it up. Instead of seeing the color red, I see an almost clear droplet of water and in it, I can see the truth. The truth that will hurt me for the rest of my life. The truth that will scare me for all eternity.

It's my fault.

--

I sit on my older brother's bed, my dark brown hair dripping water from the soaking strands.

I'm dressed in a cotton pink shirt that sits on the shoulders with a white cami underneath. On my legs, I wear grey baggy pants that are a size too big but right at this very moment, I can care less.

"Give me your hand." Justin says gently, his voice summoning me to the present and not from the safe, protected place I have in my mind.

I look in front of me and there he is, kneeling down in front of me, his hand out, waiting for mine. I place my hand gently in his own, making a soft pang. A jolt of electricity runs throughout our connected hands, traveling throughout my whole body.

I can feel a small blush gently rise up on my cheeks and I will it to go away, especially since I'm so out of it and I'm acting nothing like I usually do. Anything out of the abnormal, Justin will probably figure it out and become concerned.

I look down at Justin as his cool fingers trace the cut on my hand. It stings slightly but I don't complain from his gentle touch as he caresses the palm of my hand. He reaches out next to him and picks up a damp wash cloth.

"It might sting a little bit…" He says softly, seeming to try and ease the pain that hasn't even started yet. I brace myself for the sharp pain as he nears the cloth close to my hand. With much care, he grazes the cut gently with the cloth and even though the pain is minimum, I scream out, tears suddenly pouring down my face.

Justin immediately stops and stands up. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me to his chest, where I know I'm safe.

"Shh… It's ok…" He whispers over and over again, soothing my jumpy nerves. My sobs slowly calm down to a slight hiccup and I lean myself closer to him.

Justin pulls apart slightly and brings my hand up to him again. "I have to put a Band-Aid on it." He says and I can see the look of sadness in his eyes. Gently, he puts the cloth back on the cut and I sob, but thankfully I am able to control myself… Well sort of.

Finally, he pulls the cloth quickly away and puts a long, thick Band-Aid on my palm. I stare down at it and I almost peel it off, but Justin put his hand on top of it, making me look over at him. He is smiling at me. My heart skips a beat and I can't help but smile back.

For the rest of the evening, he put things on my wounds and bandages them up. To everyone else, it would seem as though I was in a horrible accident that made me get all these cuts and bruises. Thank goodness I don't have any cuts or bruises on my face; otherwise I won't be able to hide them under my clothes.

"When they come, you say nothing. Don't even mutter a word. I'll do all the talking." He says quietly, as though someone could hear us if we spoke loudly.

"Do you promise me?" He asks. I stare at him, and I know my eyes must look lifeless. They must look dead. But even though I want to scream at myself for not being the down to earth Alex and the I'm so popular Alex, and I want to say what happened, even though I'm not sure I can even form the words at the moment, I just can't refuse him. No matter what I do, I can't refuse him.

"Do you promise me?" He asks again, taking hold of my hands this time, making me come back from my mind to him.

I look around at the room and notice that we had somehow arrived here in the living/kitchen room. I look down at the familiar couch and even though it seems so familiar, it isn't it's so foreign, so different. Everything in this whole house is different.

And then I look at Justin. He's the only thing in my whole world that isn't different. That hasn't changed. That will always be here to protect me. No matter what I do… or did.

His eyes plead to me and even though I want to speak, I know now is not the time. Not now, not ever. No matter how much I want to say how much I love him, I can't… and I won't. It's wrong. It's sick. It's sickly right.

I suck in a breath and without even second thinking myself, I turn to him and grip his hand, tightly.

"I promise."

* * *

Hi people! I really hope everyone likes this prologue! I actually got this idea from watching the TV series on FX, 'Damages'! It's an AWESOME show! It won't match the story line or anything, but I just came up with this idea. I hope you guys like this story! Please review and tell me what you think! I would love to hear from you! :) Thank you for reading! :)

Also, this story is going to be a very different type of story that I have ever written. It will still be my style and everything, but it will go back in time every so often. At the beginning of the chapter, I will let the readers know when it is in the past. So, I hope you all enjoyed what you read and please review! Thank you! :)


	2. Chapter 1

**_Don't let me go_**

Romance.

A Jalex story.

Summary: Keeping a secret is hard; especially since I'm keeping two secrets. One is, I'm in love with my brother. The other one is... my parents are gone. Justin tries to protect his sister from something that happened.. something that she can never tell a soul. Why can't anybody find their parents? What happened to Alex that has changed her so drastically?

--

There will be a flashback near the end of the chapter!

**Chapter One**

By now, I can't feel my hand anymore. When I look down at it, the fingers are deadly white as I squeeze the heck out of Justin's hand. Even his fingers are turning purple! But when I look at his handsome face, his face is all composed; having no trace of uncomfortable or hurting expressions.

I turn my head and shift my eyes to look at the man in front of us. He's a wizard, like Justin and I, except he's older and he's a wizard detective. He's been here for half an hour grilling us, well really Justin, questions about our parents.

Justin calmly nods at the man's words, totally not affected by the man's hard gazes and straightforward questions. Good thing he's not asking me anything… Which is a first because I usually do really well when people are grilling me for answers.

"Is there anything else I need to know?" The man asks, his eyes landing on me. My stomach does a jump and a roll and a summersault by the mean looks that guy keeps sending me. I feel Justin press his fingers into mine gently, unnoticeably by people besides myself.

"I don't think so." Justin says and stands, pulling me up with him. The man stares at our connected hands and he seems to glare at them before a smile coming on his face and his eyes travel over to Justin.

"Well I haven't heard your little sister say anything," He says and I feel the scratch on my hand, that Justin is holding, begin to burn and I bite my tongue, making sure I don't yelp out in pain.

"Is there anything else I should know? This is your last chance to talk."

I just stare at him, refusing to let him crack me. I feel my whole body slowly begin to burn. Suddenly, the whole room begins to tip, making everything look sideways.

"No there isn't." Justin says calmly, but more forcefully than he said the first time. The man turns his stone gaze toward my brother and stares at him for a long moment, before nodding.

"I suppose I should be going." The man says and I see my eye sight begin to grow hazy, blurry. I clutch harder onto my brother's hand and I feel my body begin to sway, back and forth.

"Justin…" I whisper, even though I'm not supposed to say anything. His eyes dart over to me, quickly. He pulls gently out of my deathly grasp and puts his arm around my waist. I feel his cool hand press against my forehead, and he leaves it there for a moment.

"You have a fever." He mumbles to me. I close my eyes and open them back up. I look down at the floor, ignoring the stares of the detective and lean my head against Justin's shoulder.

His grip tightens around my waist. He looks over at the wizard detective and nods at him.

"Well I guess you should be going." Justin says, his voice hard. The man nods his head once before turning around and opening the front door.

"If there's anything else, please give me a call." He says coolly before opening the door and exiting the house, closing the door with a loud bang.

I sigh with relief and relax slightly into Justin's warm grasp and close my eyes. Justin mumbles something under his breath but he says it too low for me to hear.

"Alex, can you walk?" Justin asks, his warm minty breath hits my cheek and I feel myself blush, my face heating up even more.

"Wow, you really have a fever, your face is as red as a tomato!" I feel myself smile slightly and I have to bite my bottom lip to make the smile disappear from my lips.

I feel him shift me in his arms slightly and I open my eyes. He's staring at my face and I can't help but want to press my lips against his own in a passionate kiss.

He smiles down at me, his lips coming in a sweet smile. Just for me.

"Come on, let's get you to bed. A lot has happened…" Justin lets the sentence hang in the air and I feel my blushy mood turn into a beat up mood.

"I don't want to go to bed." I whisper, as I look down to the floor. I see Justin put a surprised face as his arm around me suddenly loosens considerably.

"What do you mean you don't want to go to bed?" He asks, his voice sounds slightly concerned and slightly parent-ish.

I feel my face suddenly heat up once again and I feel tears prick the tip of my eyes. I look down and bite my lip, hoping they won't suddenly come gushing down my face, making me hugely humiliated.

"Alex- Alex, don't cry!" Justin says and as soon as the words leave his wonderful pale lips, the tears come traveling down my face and I want to hide in his embrace forever.

It's all my fault. All my fault…

I sob out and begin to cry harder, my hands go to my face, trying to hide my face with them, but Justin takes hold of them and gently pulls them away from my face.

"What are you doing?" I almost shriek, ready to scream out in rage and embarrassment. But he's not affected by my tone of voice and he pulls my hands down, until they are hanging by my sides.

He leans forward and even though I'm crying a billion tears per second, I feel my heart skip a beat as he moves forward.

Suddenly he wraps his arms around me, cradling me to his chest and laying his head against my own.

"It's ok. Cry it out." Justin whispers to me. I can feel his lips vibrate against my hair. I let out a shaky sob before I just let all the tears come down my face in big globs.

"I… am… s-s-so… s-sor-r-r-ry!" I whisper into Justin's chest. I clutch onto his shirt and sob harder, already feeling my chest tighten from all the crying.

"It's not your fault." I open my eyes, which I had closed somewhere in my crying, and look up at him.

I feel the anger that strikes me whenever he says those four words burn up inside of me, making me want to scream out in frustration.

"Why do you ALWAYS say that?! Of course it's my fault! Are you freaking crazy?!" I scream out to him. I know, I must be the one sounding crazy, but whenever he says those words, it just _drives_ me crazy.

Abruptly, Justin grabs onto my arms and shakes me slightly. I can see the covered anger suddenly blaze in his chocolate eyes.

"No I am not, Alex! And neither are you! It wasn't your fault mom and dad decided to go! It wasn't your fault that you ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time and everything freaking screwed up!" He yells at me and I, for once, just let his words seep into me and not just brush it off like it's nothing.

"You tried your best! It wasn't your fault! It wasn't your fault! It wasn't your fault…" He says the last part in a whisper. He looks down at the floor before he snaps his head and looks up at me.

"Alex, you are the most special person in my life and no matter what happens, you'll always be my number one."

I feel myself become paralyzed at his speech and I stare wide eye at him, my mouth open slightly in surprise.

"I'm your… what?" I ask, my voice low and shocked.

"My… Let's go to bed." He says, hastily, all traces of his emotions gone. I feel myself suddenly clam up at his refusal to say it again and I break out of his grasp.

Without waiting for him, I go upstairs, not caring to slow down for him or even say anything to him.

I stop at the bathroom and shut the door quietly. I look at my reflection in the mirror and almost cringe at the sight. Wow, when did I become so… horrid looking?

I clean my face with soap and water and the familiar scent of vanilla fills my senses. I close my eyes and let myself be consumed in the scent and a picture of Justin flouts in my head. I try to imagine us together, in a non-family related way, but I keep being stopped by Justin's hastily reply.

"Alex…" I hear a voice, Justin's voice, say from behind the door and I turn to look at it.

I contemplate in my head if I should open the door or not and finally letting myself move to the door, I unlock it and open it slightly so he's only see my face.

"I'm sorry." Justin mutters, his body very close to the door. His eyes look sad and actually sincere. I can't help but want to grab onto him and hold him tight forever and ever.

"I am very sorry." He whispers to me again. With those words, I swing the door open and encircle my arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hug. He wraps his arms around me, pressing our bodies unbelievably close to each other.

"Alex, you're my number one. You're the one I'll always love with all of my heart." He whispers near my ear, sending shivers running up and down my spine.

"I love you so much." He whispers to me and I lean up and kiss him on the cheek. Tears are slowly slipping down my cheeks and a small smile is on my red lips.

"And I love you." I say and give him another kiss on the cheek.

"Let's get to bed. Tomorrow we have to pick up Max from grandma's place." Justin says, breaking the romantic mood. I almost feel like smacking him but I refrain myself.

I wipe the stupid tears from my cheeks and eyes and go to my room and slip into an oversized t-shirt with baggy pants. I know, I'm such a fashion diva during the day but during the night, it's what I feel comfortable in to sleep in.

I notice my door is slightly open and I go over to it and open it, I can see Justin's light of in his room and I feel sadness wash over me because he didn't say goodbye.

I decide against going to say goodnight and I close my door. I look at myself in the mirror and I can't help but see a helpless girl with a horrible life and even though she has magical abilities, she can't do anything about it. No matter what her heart desires.

I slip under the covers and pull them up until they touch my chin. I look up at the ceiling and I resist looking at the window, because if I do, I know I'll wish on a wishing star like I did every night ever since I was a little girl.

Being unable to resist, I push the covers off my body and jump out of bed. I tiptoe over to the huge window and push back the dark pink curtains.

The full moon shines down at me and I almost feel like I want to escape up there, where I can always be safe. Wait a minute, I can! Duh, I'm a wizard!

I almost feel like smacking myself but I catch myself in time and when I take in a breath to say the spell, Justin suddenly comes bursting into the room, he's breathing heavily and he seems to have been running.

"Alex! Come on! I want to show you something." He says quickly making me have to say the words a couple of times in my head to understand what he said.

"Wait, what? Why?" I ask, looking at him as though he was crazy. Which he probably is…

But he doesn't answer me as he grabs onto my hand and pulls me out of my room, past the kitchen/living room, out onto the balcony. The carpet lays on the floor, ready to take flight.

I look curiously over at Justin, who only has a smile on his lips as he hands me a helmet and puts one on himself.

"Come on; we're going on a ride." He says, a mischievous glint in his eyes. I can't help but smile back and put on my life vest.

He gets on the carpet first and holds out his hand for me to grab onto. I do so and I'm pulled up onto the carpet. I get into position and wait for Justin to take off.

Up in the air, the wind feels good against my stinging skin and I smile a small smile as I hear the quietness of the night surround us both. I look over at Justin and he's concentrating on flying.

"We're almost there." He says suddenly and I nod back. He glances over at me and smiles at me.

"We're here." Justin says and I look around. All I see is sand. Lots and lots of sand.

Justin parks the carpet and jumps off. He holds up his hand for me to take and I take it and jump down. We both take off the helmet and the life vest.

"Come on." He takes hold of my hand and I follow him as he walks north, toward water.

I look around the beach, which I assume it is, and then I look forward. Glistening water flows in front of us, the water moves back and forth in a sweet lullaby.

I smile at the sight and Justin stops walking, so I do the same.

Justin sits down on the beach sand and pulls me down with him. We sit close together, our legs and arms touching. His hand gently caresses my hand and he looks over at me. He smiles at me and I smile back, happy that he brought me here.

"Why are we here?" I ask, looking over at the beautiful glistening water.

"Because, this is where I go when I need to clear my head. And I thought this place could help you. Even though I know you like to escape to the moon when you want to escape-"

"How do you know that?!" I gasp at him and can't help but feel a blush come on my cheeks.

Justin chuckles at my outburst and gently nudges me with his shoulder.

"You showed me once, when I was sick. Remember?" He says and I stare at him, confused. When did I…

Flashback

_I peaked outside my bedroom door, making sure no one was around. I can hear footsteps moving around in Justin's room then the door open. My mother comes walking out, a sad expression on her face. _

"_Come on, honey. Justin needs his rest." My father, Jerry, says and guides my mother, Teresa, away from Justin's room. _

_I wait until I don't hear their footsteps anymore before I tiptoe out of my room, shutting the door quietly behind me. _

_I tiptoe over to Justin's room and open the door quietly. Making sure I don't cause too much commotion, I walk over to his bed and peer over it. _

_There lays Justin, he is DEATHLY white and I almost feel like screaming for my mom because his breathing his very light, as though he's about to drop dead. But I can't. I have to show him; I know it will make him feel better. I just know it. _

"_Justin…" I whisper. But he doesn't stir and I almost fear that he's dead. _

"_Justin." I say louder and gently pat his shoulder. I see him suddenly open his eyes and he looks over at me, a sad expression on his young face. _

"_Alex…" He whispers out, and I put my finger over his lips. _

"_Shh. Save your breath." I whisper to him and begin to pull the cover off him. _

"_Come on. I'm going to show you something." I say quickly and quietly. But Justin, being the perfect son that he always is, begins to shake his head no and open his mouth to say something. _

"_Shut up!" I scold him and put my hands on my hips. _

"_Your coming with me and that's final!" I hiss out to him and he suddenly shuts and nods. _

_I grab a blanket and drape it over Justin's shoulders. I help him out of bed and help him walk over to the window. _

"_Ok, just stay still and don't say anything. Ok?" I ask and he nods again, I can see he is using most of his strength just to be standing straight. _

_So I quickly look up at the moon and close my eyes. _

'_Please grant me my wish and take us to the moon…' I think in my head and open my eyes. I glance over at Justin and he's leaning on me, his eyes slowly closing. _

"_Ok." _

_I put an arm around his shoulders and hold him tightly to me. _

"_Transportium nextorbitorium." I say and as soon as I say the spell, Justin snaps his head and looks at me. _

"_We're going where?!"_

_Suddenly we appear on the moon. The beautiful silver moon. I look around the moon and take a deep breath in, enjoying the sweet cloud-like scent. _

"_Alex!" Justin says, his eyes wide. I smile over at him and let my arm pull him forward with me._

"_I know. It's so cool, right?" I ask, a smile on my lips. Justin just rolls his eyes but I can see his _

"_Ok hold still." I say and point toward the blanket. _

"_Edgebonoutoosis." _

_Suddenly a second blanket appears and I lay it down on the smooth silvery ground. I point toward it and help Justin onto it, which still leaves room for me to sit as well. I plop myself down on the blanket and pull my legs to my chest. I lean my head against my knees and look toward space._

_The beautiful stars twinkle back toward us, smiling at us. I look over toward Justin and notice that he is looking at the beautiful scenery before us as well. I hear a sigh of contentment leave him pale lips and I can't help but smile. I knew this would help him. _

_Something about this place makes you just relax and forget about all your worries. I think it also makes you feel better. Make you feel healthy again. _

_Suddenly I see a shooting star and I shake Justin, who looks over at me, questionably. _

"_Look! It's a shooting star!" I say, excited. Justin looks and he smiles at it. I see him close his eyes and I know he's making a wish. So I do as well._

'_Please make Justin better. I promise I won't go behind my parents back… for a little while.'_

_I open my eyes and look over at my brother. He's staring at me and looking intently at me. _

_He opens his arms and offers me some of his blanket. I smile at him and snuggle close to him, pressing my body against his. _

"_I love you Justin." I whisper as I lean my head against his shoulder. He pulls me closer to him and he kisses the top of my head. _

"_I love you too, Alex." He whispers and leans his head against mine. _

"_Thank you for showing this to me." He says, after a while of silence. I nod my head and let out a yawn. I close my eyes and feel myself slowly drift to sleep. _

"_You can go to sleep. The sun rise will wake us up." I mumble, already half asleep. _

"_Ok." I hear Justin say before my world goes into a deep peaceful slumber. And I did wake up when the sun rose. Not Justin though. He was in a deep sleep and I didn't have the heart to wake him so I somehow, my nine year old body, got Justin in bed before my parents went to check up on him. _

_The only thing that went wrong was I feel asleep next to Justin and I awoke to my mother placing kisses on my forehead. I woke to Justin's arms around my body and mine around his waist. _

_My mother said thank you for whatever I did because Justin didn't have a fever anymore. It broke that night, while we were on the moon. _

End Flashback

"Oh ya." I say and look over at him. I smile at him and lean my head against his shoulder.

"That was the first time, we went to the moon together." I mutter, letting myself be consumed by the peaceful water.

"Ya. When mom and dad come back, we should show them." He says and I feel myself stiffen slightly at his statement.

"Or not." But I shake my head no.

"I do want to show them. We could have a picnic on the moon!" I say and let out a small giggle. Justin chuckles lightly before placing a kiss on my forehead.

"Go to sleep. When you wake up, you'll be home." Justin says and I let out a yawn.

"I love you…" I mumble.

"I love you too." Justin whispers back to me.

Before I can even take a last look at the beautiful shimmering ocean, I fall into a deep sleep. A sleep that has no dreams. Only nightmares.

* * *

Hi! I hope you all enjoyed this fluffy chapter! I was planning on updating this on saturday, but I ended up getting sick so that didn't happen. So I'm sick with my stupid asthma but I hope this chapter makes up for my late update! Please review and tell me what you think! :) Thank you so much for reading! Please review! :)

I know I'm leaving you all in the dark about the parents but there will be clues in the next chapter, so don't worry! Please review and thank you for reading! :)


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